WOW!
hmm, only a mouth full of energy drink. That was good, great, beautiful... but not what I call a hit. See, if you really want to make a hit, study the songs out there(The fruit by Sander Kleinenberg is a fav), sure you do way better than them in some areas but in others you are lacking (I think you'll reach it). You have to have more diversity, and make those melodys stand out more, don't make them original, make them unique.
I loved the song, it sounds like the vox kinda ruined it, but also it made the song, near the end when the woman sung softly et clearly was amazing a really opened my ears. Get an actually singer, and make them sing someting catchy and repeatative.
Seriously, it was perfect for what it was, no one could do it better.